You don’t need to read to this, in fact I’d encourage you to just get back to your dash. I just really need to get all my thoughts down in one place. Today has been one of my most difficult days in recent memory. When I came down for breakfast in the morning my mom suggested I apply for a full-time job. Why? Because her job at Wells Fargo is at risk now (government suing banks, etc.) and without a steady income it would be difficult to refinance. Upsetting, but not entirely unexpected as things have been shaky for a while. However, this afternoon I came home to worse news: a letter saying our house had been foreclosed and there’s little we can do about it. Yep. I guess banks don’t like single parents with limited income who can’t pay back loans - loans that have skyrocketed since said banks handed out subprime mortgages not too long ago. I feel paralyzed. Scared about the future. I can see my grad school plans disappearing and I now have to find a job to support my family. It’s unlikely that we’ll get to keep this house. At what point is it appropriate to start thinking about moving? And it’s not just the house. My mom will have lost credit rating; she won’t be able to rent an apartment or receive any loans. I’ll have to do it. I’ll have to find a job and a house and a loan. Yes, I know I’m freaking out a little and I should calm down and approach this logically and cautiously. But really? I’m barely holding it together as is. I can’t even get my parents to talk to each other to begin to sort this out. I’m always a messenger between the two of them and now not only do I have to help them play nice, I have to make sure the both of them are thoroughly informed about financial matters when they refuse to speak to each other. I may have to postpone grad school so I can get things worked out if we have to start over. Further, I’ll have to postpone grad school until I find the money to make it seem like a reality again. I’m not gonna lie, I broke down a bit earlier. It was too much to take in at once. I don’t even want to think about how this will affect the interview process for medical school. I just need to not think about it for tonight. I’ll be able to think more clearly in the morning, I hope.
